The one bonus of not lifting the ban on gays in the military is that the next time the government mandates a draft we can all declare homosexuality instead of running off to Canada. ~Lorne Bloch
Novelties please less than they impress. ~Byron, Don Juan, 1824
History does not teach fatalism. There are moments when the will of a handful of free men breaks through determinism and opens up new roads. People get the history they deserve. ~Charles de Gaulle
Most people never run far enough on their first wind to find out they've got a second. ~William James
The only time my prayers are never answered is on the golf course. ~Billy Graham
So I began to think maybe it was true that when you were married and had children it was like being brainwashed, and afterward you went about as numb as a slave in a totalitarian state. ~Sylvia Plath, The Bell Jar, Chapter 7
Who is rich? He who rejoices in his portion. ~The Talmud
Youth is like spring, an over praised season more remarkable for biting winds than genial breezes. Autumn is the mellower season, and what we lose in flowers we more than gain in fruits. ~Samuel Butler
When you hear someone shout "You da man," if he ain't shouting at Arnold Palmer, then it ain't da man. ~Ron Green, Charlotte Observer
Seems to me the basic conflict between men and women, sexually, is that men are like firemen. To men, sex is an emergency, and no matter what we're doing we can be ready in two minutes. Women, on the other hand, are like fire. They're very exciting, but the conditions have to be exactly right for it to occur. ~Jerry Seinfeld
The only function of economic forecasting is to make astrology look respectable. ~John Kenneth Galbraith
Many continentals think life is a game; the English think cricket is a game. ~George Mikes, How to Be an Alien, 1946
He does not need opium. He has the gift of reverie. ~Anais Nin
Wild animals never kill for sport. Man is the only one to whom the torture and death of his fellow-creatures is amusing in itself. ~James Anthony Froude, Oceana, 1886
While you are destroying your mind watching the worthless, brain-rotting drivel on TV, we on the Internet are exchanging, freely and openly, the most uninhibited, intimate and, yes, shocking details about our config.sys settings. ~Dave Barry
Better keep yourself clean and bright; you are the window through which you must see the world. ~George Bernard Shaw
Curling is sweeping the nation. ~Author Unknown
How important it is for us to recognize and celebrate our heroes and she-roes! ~Maya Angelou
Telephone, n. An invention of the devil which abrogates some of the advantages of making a disagreeable person keep his distance. ~Ambrose Bierce
Our wedding was many years ago. The celebration continues to this day. ~Gene Perret
True contentment depends not upon what we have; a tub was large enough for Diogenes, but a world was too little for Alexander. ~Charles Caleb Colton
When once you have tasted flight, you will forever walk the earth with your eyes turned skyward, for there you have been, and there you will always long to return. ~Leonardo Da Vinci (Thanks, Tommy)
To the great tree-loving fraternity we belong. We love trees with universal and unfeigned love, and all things that do grow under them or around them - the whole leaf and root tribe. ~Henry Ward Beecher
We should take care not to make the intellect our god; it has, of course, powerful muscles, but no personality. ~Albert Einstein
